I was so fat!

Before my surgery I knew I was overweight.... ok, obese.  But when I looked in the mirror I don't believe I truly saw how fat I really was.  It's like my brain blocked the image or something. 

Yesterday I was trying to organize the photos on my hard drive (they are a serious mess!) and came across this photo.  It was taken 6 months before my surgery on Mother's Day after we'd taken my mom out to lunch.  I obviously wasn't thrilled to be having my picture taken. 

I'm sad to see this picture.  And a little bit disgusted with myself for looking like this.  That turquoise blouse is one I used to wear all the time, it was a favorite.  

I guess seeing pictures of myself before surgery is a good reminder of how far I've come.  And reminds me of the place I never want to return.  I know that weight regain is a definite possibility after WLS if I do not make the necessary lifestyle changes to keep the weight off .... so I never want to forget how I looked and how I felt when I was obese.  Even if these pictures make me disgusted, I'll continue to look at them to make sure I don't get lax with following the rules.

~Pam

Protein Coffee

 Lately I've become addicted to protein coffee.

 

It's yummy and sits squarely on my good eating plan. I'm sitting here this morning (Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!) enjoying a cup of decaf coffee flavored with Vanilla Chai Spice creamer and a dash of chai spice that I unearthed in the back of my spice cabinet. I love that I have an automatic coffee maker with a timer .... so I wake up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee every morning.

 

Protein Coffee

• 1 scoop vanilla protein powder
• 1 splash milk or flavored coffee creamer
• 1 splash or dash of SF coffee syrup or spices (optional)
• 8-12 oz hot coffee

Add protein powder and milk/creamer to a coffee cup. Mix like crazy until you have a smooth paste with no lumps. Add a little bit of hot coffee. Stir some more until all the paste is incorporated into the coffee. Fill rest of mug with coffee.

 

I usually put the cup in the microwave for about 40 seconds to get it hotter. The cream tends to cool it down too much for me and I like my coffee super hot.

 

Enjoy!

 

~Pam

Pumpkin Fluff

A favorite dessert for the fall season. Great as a dish to pass for Thanksgiving! It might taste sinful, but it's 100% sin-free!

Pumpkin Fluff

• 1 tub cool whip
• 1 boxes sugar free instant vanilla pudding powder 
• 1 can pureed pumpkin (not the pie mix, just plain pumpkin)
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

Add all ingredients to a bowl and mix with a hand mixer. Eat it plain or serve with a side of dipping-sticks.

Dippers: graham crackers, 'nilla wafers, ginger snaps, fingers...

Enjoy!

~Pam

Gotta Change my Eating Plan

For the past couple weeks I've had the feeling that I need to change my eating plan. Not necessarily increase calories or protein... but change my schedule around a bit. I've been getting shakey and lightheaded in the mornings and by 10am when I have breakfast scheduled, I'm starving. Then in the evenings I've got the munchies, like my body is telling me I haven't eaten enough or something. Need to give it some thought and figure out a new plan... ~Pam

Happy early Thanksgiving

My aunt and uncle are in town from New York, so we decided to celebrate Thanksgiving Dinner early in our family.   We had a dinner for 28 yesterday afternoon with a huge spread of food with a ton of leftovers. So, Happy Early Thanksgiving to all!

And the big question --- how'd I do with eating at Thanksgiving dinner?  

No bad but also not good either.  

I started my day with a trip to the lab for a quick blood draw which required fasting ... so I didn't actually start my day with my normal protein shake and breakfast.  By the time I got done at the lab and hit the grocery store, it was 11:00 a.m.   I added a scoop of protein to some coffee and got busy cooking.  

The day was mostly a grazing fest.  Once appetizers were put out around 2:00 I didn't really stop eating.  Mom made some chocolate fondu with many delicious dippables and I ate too much of this.  Luckily there was also a cheese and meat tray, so I ate healthy stuff too.

I was pretty picky with what went on my plate for dinner and chose the high protein stuff (turkey and ham, baked beans and polish sausage) with a couple healthy side dishes (cole slaw, deviled egg, green beans) and a couple things I should have avoided (banana bread).   After about 3 bites I looked up across the table at my brother and said, "I'm full."  LOL!    I did manage to eat a few more bites, but not much.

It took a while to get things cleaned up and dessert out, so by that time I was no longer "full" and nibbled on a few things.  I made some pumpkin fluff (I'll post the recipe later) and nibbled on that too much.  Mom also made my favorite cheeseball, so I snacked on cheese and crackers too (I'll post that recipe too).  

I didn't overstuff myself throughout the day, but I did graze a lot more than I should have.  I avoided the super sweet stuff like pies, monkey bread and the sweet potatoes (loaded with brown sugar) -- so it could have been worse by far.  I think I've gotten to a point where I'm more conscious about the food choices I make and balancing the good with the bad during special occasions.  

After the family left, I headed to Frankenmuth to the coffeehouse where they had some live music lined up.  I had a SF FF Decaf Vanilla Latte and relaxed for a little while.  

Overall it was a very good Thanksgiving.  I hope you and your family enjoy your celebration this coming week.

~Pam

Calcium and Caffeine

In the past I’ve stated that caffeine interferes with the absorption of calcium in our bodies. And yes, that statement is still true. However, I have recently come across more specific information about this interaction. Oregan State University’s Institute of Micronutrient Research has a very informative article on their website about calcium. (Read the whole thing, lots of great information there!) In the section about caffeine interference it gives us specific details about this fact.

Caffeine in large amounts increases urinary calcium content for a short time. However, caffeine intakes of 400 mg/day did not significantly change urinary calcium excretion. On average, one 8-ounce cup of coffee decreases calcium retention by only 2-3 mg.

One cup 8 ounce cup of drip coffee has about 145mg of caffeine. So, in theory, we can drink about 22oz of coffee per day without any significant interference with our calcium absorption. Here’s a chart that shows the caffeine levels of various beverages. This is good news since I’ve recently started drinking 1 cup of coffee each morning. And when you mix a scoop of protein in the coffee, I’m able to drink it completely guilt-free! Cheers! ~Pam

Yucky Tummy Day

Wow!  3 posts in one day ... bet you guys are tired of me already.  

I've said before that this blog is about the good days AND the bad days. Today happens to be a pretty yucky day so I'm going to whine for a minute. 

I came home from vacation and the drastic weather change brought on a nasty head cold and congestion and sinus drainage. Yuck!  I also came home with some crazy rash/bump/bite thing going on and it itches like mad.  Yuck again!   I've been experiencing some dizzyness lately too. Not sure if it's a blood pressure thing (happens when I stand up suddenly) or if it has to do with the head cold.  Yuck!

But today, something is up with my tummy.  It started early this morning as I was drinking my protein coffee on the way to work.  I couldn't decide if I needed to puke or poop, but neither has happened and I still feel yucky tonight.  Maybe its gas, maybe its constipation, maybe its something I ate that doesn't like my system.  I just can't figure out what it feels like. Yuck!

Hope tomorrow is better.

~Pam

I Joined the Gym

After much procrastination and much hemming and hawwing .. I finally joined the gym. Two years for a total of $202, so I felt like I got a good deal. It's open 24 hours during the workweek and also are open on weekends. Since it's near my office I'll just be using it after work during the week. The gym branch that is nearer to my house (90 minutes away from the office) is also available to me for a daily useage fee if I need to use it.

They also offer some classes during the week - yoga, pilates, aerobics, etc. I'll be meeting with a personal trainer to get a workout routine set for myself, then I meet with him again every month to adjust my routine as I progress.

Unfortunately the gym I finally decided on (there were about 4 to pick from) is the one that is slightly out of my way once I leave the office in the evenings. Knowing myself, this could become a factor in skipping workouts. It's only a few minutes in the other directions, so it really shouldn't be a big deal. But I need to be very conscious about making sure I don't let that become an excuse.

I'll keep you posted on how things go.

~Pam

1 Year Since Surgery

November 13th was my one year anniversary since surgery. I spent the day enjoying the sunshine of Florida and remembering how far I've come in such a short period of time.

The picture here was taken the day before I left for vacation by my new friend Kimberly of Coombs Photography. Can you believe the transformation I've gone through over the past year. Remember the photo collage that shows my face pictures for the first 6 months of my journey (I'll have to update this with the full 12 months worth of pictures). I'm a new person!

But it's more than just the physical transformation that I see in pictures. I've seen so many other changes in my life too. I'm more confident. I'm happier. I'm more outgoing. I'm more satisfied with myself and the way I come across to other people. I've learned to be more selfish and realize how imporant it is to take care of myself rather than scurrying around doing stuff for everyone else out of guilt or so-called obligation. I'm healthier and more active.

Heck! I can walk 13 miles and still breath - who would have thought? I'm smarter about my body, nutrition and how to live a healthy life. I pay closer attention to what my body and mind is telling me and how I can "feed" myself with something other than food. I am seeking out new friends and experiences and trying to make the changes in my life that I want to see.

There are WOW moments still happening in my life. Just the other day as I was searching through my jewelry box for some earrings, I came across my high school class ring and tried it on. It fit! I just stood there in my bedroom looking down at my hand and grinning like a fool. Silly, small things like that can just make your day, can't they? 


So my official weight loss is a total of 107 pounds. I'm currently stuck at about 192 pounds and the scale keeps teasing me ... up and down with the same 2 or 3 pounds. But I know the scale will move again soon. My tight-ish clothes are fitting looser these days and I'm in the continual mode of packing more things away for charity that don't fit anymore. 


So what about my goal weight? I'm getting close! It's exciting to be so close, actually. My original weight goal is "160-ish" -- which means that as soon as I hit 169, I'll be at goal. That's a mere 23 pounds away. My surgeon's goal of 135 still seems pretty unrealistic to me, but even that is only 58 pounds away. I doubt I'll go all the way down to 135, but once I hit that 169-mark I'll most likely come up with a new goal weight. My initial inclination is leaning toward the 150-mark. But we'll see... 


I have good days and bad days when it comes to eating and exercise. Vacation was not a free-for-all, but I certainly didn't follow my eating plan religiously. Now that I'm back to real life and on a routine, I'm doing much better. I'm seriously slacking in the exercise department and need a swift kick in the butt to get back on track. I want to join a gym and do weight training and maybe take a yoga class. There are a myriad of excuses and reasons that I haven't done it yet... but I need to stop procrastinating and get it done. I do fairly well with my vitamins and supplements most days. Weekends are still tough for me and following a strict routine on Saturday and Sunday is difficult. I need to buckle down and figure out a way to make weekends work better for me. I also need to figure out how to get that 4th dose of calcium in every single day instead of only about 50% of the time. 
There's definitely room for improvement, but overall I do pretty well. 


There are still some areas of my "health" that I want to work on. Remember that Comprehensive Holistic Wellness Plan? I've got some things to work through with those goals. I'd like to sit down with my journal and figure out which goals I've met and which ones still need work. Going back to college in January is a major goal I plan to hit, but I need to get my act together or I'll miss the registration deadline again. Updates on that to come... 


I'm truly amazing and feel so blessed to have to many new friends and avid supporters in the bariatric community. I checked my blog statistics earlier today and I was amazed at the traffic this site gets. So many people read what I say --- I assume that ya'll are reading anyway. LOL! The support and encouragement I get from my friend on http://www.obesityhelp.com/ and from the support groups I attend is truly inspiring to me. How does anyone make this WLS journey without such a strong and faithful circle of friends? I am blessed. 


Thank you all for being here to cheer me on. You mean the world to me!


~Pam

I'm Home From Vacation

Vacation rocked!  The beach rocks!  I think I need to live near the water somewhere so I can go to the beach every day of my life.  My sign is Aquarius, so I can see how I can love the water so much.  I don't even need to go into the water ... just sitting on the beach near it is fine with me.  

I didn't eat the best while I was away, but I still lost 3 pounds.  I didn't do well with my calcium or protein intake and will be getting back on track starting this morning.  I over indulged a few times with all the yummy seafood and a few too many sweets.  But all in all, I did pretty good with staying on track with my eating plan.

It's good to be home and sleeping in my own bed again. But I sure am going to miss the beach and sunshine as we are about to face a cold and snowy Michigan winter. 

I have some photos to share -- in celebration of my 1 year surgery anniversary -- and will try to get an update posted this weekend.  I can't believe it's been a year since my surgery, so much has changed and I feel like a brand new person.  More on that later...

~Pam

Vacation

Way back when I first had WLS, I had dreamed of the possibility of taking a cruise or some tropical vacation when I hit my goal weight... or maybe when I hit the one year mark. It was a far and distant dream because I knew I'd used up a huge chunk of my paid vacation time just having the surgery, so I had to hord my time off for a while.

Well.... that dream is coming true afterall. I'll be heading to Florida to spend a week lounging on the beach or next to the pool.  I have a stack of books packed and a couple dozen ebooks loaded on the PDA -- all set for a week of relaxation.  

So I'll post my official 1-year-post-op message when I return next weekend.  

~Pam

I hope they recognize me

As I was standing in line to vote this morning, the lady behind me was pulling out her driver's license and said, "I hope they recognize me!" After my quizical look she said that she'd lost 175 pounds and her picture doesn't look anything like her now. I congratulated her and told her that 175 pounds lost was great! Her response? "Yep, bariatric surgery sure does work!" I told her that I also had surgery and had lost 107 pounds so far. She's two years post-op and lost more than her surgeon recommended. She looked great, very healthy. We chatted for a minute, but then it was time for us to sign in to vote. You never know who you'll bump into, huh? ~Pam

Papaya Enzyme

Even now, at nearly a year out from surgery, I still get food stuck once in a while. Usually it's a result of not chewing well enough or eating too fast... which is usually a result of doing something "else" while I'm eating and not paying attention like I should. Duh! You'd think I'd learn by now.

I had some chicken noodle soup for lunch today (the last of the homemade pot of soup I made last week). I wasn't feeling very hungry, so I knew I wouldn't be able to finish the whole bowl that I'd brought to work. Instead I just picked through the bowl and ate the chicken pieces.

And, of course, I got some chicken stuck.

So after about 30 minutes of suffering I remembered that I had some papaya enzyme tablets in my purse. I pulled out 3 of them and chewed them up - one at a time about 2 minutes apart. By the time I finished the third tablet I was already feeling better. It's now been about 15 minutes and all feelings of being "stuck" are gone. I'm always amazed at how quickly those things work!

For those of you who haven't heard of these, let me explain. Papaya enzyme is a sort of natural protein tenderizer that helps with digestion. Some people take it everyday, but I don't really see the need for it as a daily supplement. However, when I get some type of meat stuck in the pouch, chewing up a few of these works on that food and clears the path.

I always carry a little supply of these with me in a pillbox in my purse. I buy mine at Wal-Mart in the isle with the rest of the vitamins and supplements. They have saved the day more than once!

~Pam

Pre-Op Liquid Diet - a look back

A year ago I was in the midst of the pre-op liquid diet.  Yesterday I helped my parents with a craft show and we always stop for dinner afterward.  After last year's show I ordered a bowl of chicken noodle soup without any of the stuff --- "Just the broth please."  The waitress felt sorry for me and brought a small dish of some noodles in case I wanted something besides broth.  I ate a few ... but mostly I was fine with just the broth.  

It seems strange that it's been a full year since the liquid diet.  I can almost recount each of those 14 days for you in utter clarity.  What I ate and how I felt and how impatient I was while waiting for surgery day to arrive.  

When people ask me what my surgery date is, I always have to stop and think about it to come up with the date of November 13th.  Because actually, in my mind, my WLS journey started on October 29th - the day I started my liquid diet. 

I look back at the post I made the evening before I started the liquid diet.  I mention having my grandmother's/dad's homemade noodles as my last supper.  I still remember how delicious they were -- a little salty, but still yummy.  The last line of that post.... not sure I really understood what I was saying, but it's so true:

"My relationship with food will never be the same again."

~Pam

Dating & Friendships

When I first stared this WLS journey I made the decision to focus my attention my ME for the first year post-op.  I decided to not date at all during this first year.  No distractions, no hassles, no boy-crazy wierdness allowed.  

I spent a year before my surgery surfing various WLS message boards and forums and very often I'd see single women who went hog-wild about dating just a few months after their surgeries.  These women were going a little crazy with dating sites and dating and sex and drinking at a time in their lives when major changes were happening in their own lives.  How can you really be objective and clear minded about dating when you're dealing with so many other changes in life?  

So after seeing some major crazy stuff on message boards ... I decided I wanted to really get to know myself and work on my own life before I allowed a man to muck it up.  It has been one of the best decisions I've made regarding post-op life.   It's one less thing I've had to worry about.  

And now I'm approaching the 1 year mark in a couple weeks.  Do I start actively looking for dates?  Or do I just make myself more open minded about the possibility of meeting new people?  What do I do?  

I've done the online dating thing and really don't like it.  So for now, that's not an option for me.  My friend, M, tells me to go where the people are -- bars and clubs.  No thanks.  I don't drink and I don't hang out in the bar so why would I want to meet someone who does?  But how does a nearly-40 year old woman (OMG! That's scary to even say out loud!) meet other single people?  But my friend does have a point... "go where the people are."  I've heard that 65% of relationships started because the couple were introduced to each other through friends. That got me thinking...

I realized that I don't really have a lot of friends.  Well, I do have friends .. but not the type of friends that I just hang out with locally.  I want to make new friends.  Friends in general and especially friends that I can hang out with regulary.  I don't have a gang of girlfriends that I can call up at the last minute and invite to a movie or friends to invite over for a dinner party or friends I meet up with for lunch dates or whatever.   Most of my good friends live somewhere else.  Tina's in Virginia.  M is in Tennessee.  Sarah is in Ann Arbor.  You see my point... nobody is close.  The other problem is that the friends I have made locally -- mostly gals from my support group meetings -- we're all so busy that there's never time to get together.  Maybe we just need to work harder at it or make the effort.  I don't know.  But I've come to realize that if I want a group of good girlfriends, then I need to work at it.  

So maybe the original thought process to this whole discussion was about dating.  Surrounding myself with people who might "know someone" that want to introduce their single girlfriend to. But really I think I've come to realize that dating is secondary for me right now.  I just want to work on making new friends and finding a group of girls that I love hanging out with.  And maybe some day down the road I might meet Mr. Right along the way -- but for now, it's not a priority.

~Pam

It's a Large!

I need to do laundry.  I have no clean PJ's and really need to do laundry.  So I went to the closet looking for something to throw on to lounge in.  I found a pair of PJ's someone gave me (I think it was my sister) and figured I'd try them on.  It fit!  And it's a large!  

Holy cow!

Pam