Frustrated with slow technology

This really has nothing to do with WLS, but I'm going to whine about it anyway.

As I mentioned last week, I'm registered for college classes and the semester begins next week.  I'm all set for the in-classroom course but for my online class I have to first complete an online course orientation.  In fact, I have to complete this orientation before I can officially even register for the course and it's suppose to take 2 to 3 hours.  

This stupid online orientation is impossible!  I've tried to do it 3 times and each time I hit a roadblock and have to wait and make a call to the college when the offices open the next day ... or in today's case, wait until someone reviews one portion of the process and I wait for a response to move on.  Grrrr!!!!

I'm sure my scheduling situation doesn't help matters much since I can get online for school in the evening, but the help desk and admissions office is only open during the day.  But c'mon!  It should NOT be this difficult.  What a pain in the neck!

Ok ... vent over. 

~Pam

Mandatory Down Time

I'm not home much during the week because I work so far away from my house. I leave around 7am and get home around 6:30pm on a normal night when I don't have anything going on after work. But now that the weather is getting nicer I have been stopping to do my workouts on the nature trails before I go home. So yeah... a 12 or 13 hour day is typical and if I get home around 8pm that means I have about 3 hours in the evening at home before I go to bed. And those 3 hours are spent cooking dinner, doing housework, chores or whatever -- plus trying to fit in a little time for relaxation and hobbies.

So I really treasure my weekends and I'm usually pretty selfish with how I give away my time. The weekends are my time to recharge and prepare myself for another long week of working and life.

I've noticed that since I started working this job with the long commute I have become a homebody. When I'm driving or at work or just away - I often find myself thinking, "I just want to BE home." Not "go" home, but to already be there.

This past weekend wasn't very relaxing and I wasn't at home very much at all. I spent Saturday with one of my Meetup.com groups and we went on a shopping trip in the Detroit area. Then I hit the coffeehouse Saturday evening to listen to a jazz band play. Sunday I spent up north with my grandparents - bring grandma home from the nursing home for the day, cooking my grandparents a meal, doing laundry and housework and other chores all day.

So here it is, Monday morning, and I've got a headache and I'm battling grumpiness. All because I didn't get my mandatory down time over the weekend. And next weekend is a long way away still.

I also know that when I get grumpy or too tired that my eating habits go down the toilet. So this time around I'm going to be hyper-aware of the tendency and try hard to avoid the pitfall.

I'll try to find some time for purposeful relaxation this week (probably not until Tuesday or Wednesday though) ... it won't be exactly the same as sleeping late and having a leisurely day at home ... but I'll do what I can to combat the grumpiness and exhaustion that often comes after a busy weekend.

~Pam

Chicken Salad

This week I've been enjoying a batch of chicken salad.  It's super delicious and very fillilng.  It's a perfect meal for a hot summer day or to enjoy while on a picnic.  So, I thought I'd share the recipe with you today.

Chicken Salad

1 pound chicken (I used boneless skinless breasts)

1 cup grapes (halved)

1 stalk celery (diced)

1/4 c. slivered almonds

1/2 c. salad dressing or mayo (I used light)

2 t. celery seed

salt and pepper to taste

I baked the chicken breasts this time, but you can also boil or grill them if that's easier.  Or just use leftovers or a rotiserrie chicken.  Cut chicken into small chunks.  Sliced grapes in half and dice celery.  Mix all ingredients together.  

I usually have it on  a bed of mixed salad greens and some sliced tomatoes. Sometimes I spritz the salad greens with a spray or two of balsamic salad dressing first, sometimes I just let the mayo of the chicken salad serve as dressing for the greens.  

This batch makes 6 servings of about 6oz each.  Here are the stats per serving:

Calories: 177

Fat: 7g

Carbs: 9g

Protein: 21g

I'm Not That Person Anymore

Yesterday morning as I was driving to work I checked my rear view mirror and noticed a lady behind me eating her breakfast. She was morbidly obese and looked very uncomfortable wedged into the front seat of her car. She was eating a McDonald's bagel breakfast sandwich, hash browns and sucking on a monster size soda. This lady was in her own little breakfast world as she drove to work.

Then today on my drive to work I noticed a man behind me eating his breakfast. This guy was super skinny though and obviously had the music up a little too loud in the car (singing with your mouth full is not a pretty sight). He was eating what looked like some type of huge breakfast burrito and an apple pie along with a monster size soda.

Yesterday when I saw the obese woman I thought to myself, "I'm glad I'm not that person anymore." I use to hit McDonald's drive through about once a week before surgery and it was always the steak bagel sandwich. So seeing that lady hit pretty close to home for me.

And then when I saw the man eating it made me realize that just because a person is slim doesn't mean they are healthy. So even now that I've lost the weight, I can't go back to those habits and expect to maintain my new level of health and wellness. (Not that I ever planned to, but seeing him pigging out really reminded me of my new commitment to being healthy.)

I'm not saying that I don't hit a drive thru once in a while, because I do. But there are plenty of healthy options to choose from and I just need to stay conscious to avoid the crap.

Just something to think about today...

~Pam

Happy Bathroom Visits

Ok... I am really hoping that this blog post doesn't suddenly attract a whole bunch of Internet wierdos. But the subject matter is one that's is a chronic problem for many folks after WLS. Let's talk about poop. After RNY there are many factors that contribute to chronic constipation in a great majority of us. Here's some general reasons why we suffer from constipation:

• Because food is no longer churned in the stomach, the particles that the intestines have to deal with are larger and the shortened route means that food hits the large intestines less digested then before surgery.
• We're now eating more dense foods (protein takes longer to digest than carbohydrates).
• We're focusing so much on protein, our fiber intake is much lower than the recommended level. We should be getting 25-30g fiber per day but most are barely hitting 10g a day.
• Various supplements and medications can also cause constipation -- iron is a classic culprit.

So add all those things together and you've got some major bathroom issues going on. For the past year or so I've really been focused on getting 25-30g fiber per day. I've had to use a supplement - FiberSure - every morning in my protein shakes to even come close to that number. I also take 2 fish oil capsules and 2 Colace pills per day to help. And yes, I'm drinking enough water too. But chronic constipation has been my nemesis for far too long and I was getting desperate for a solution. Then two weeks ago my friend Tara mentioned her new fiber habit and I jumped on board with it. Each morning she measures out 1 cup of Fiber One Cereal (the twigs) and munches on it throughout the day. That 1 cup of cereal equals 120 calories, 8g protein and 30g fiber (and only 22g of other carbs)!! 30 grams of fiber! Holy cow!!! So I started it. I measured out one cup servings into baggies so it's easy to grab and go. I carry it with me to work and usually munch while I'm driving to and from work and add it to my morning yogurt. Technically it's grazing since I am snacking all day without it being on a schedule ... but I'm making an exception to this rule because it's for a very specific purpose and because it is budgeted into my daily calorie intake. Ever since I started this routine I've had "Happy Bathroom Visits." I know, I know... TMI. Sorry. But I gotta tell you that it has changed my life. Ok, maybe not THAT dramatic, but really it's an amazing difference. Right now I'm averaging about 40g fiber per day when I add in the rest of the food I eat besides the cereal. So if you're having an unhappy relationship with your bathroom, I highly recommend the one-cup-a-day of Fiber One. ~Pam

Appreciating the Small Stuff

Each week Nikki posts a thread over on OH called "Under 200 but not yet at goal" -- it's a place to check in each week to report our progress, challenges, triumphs, gripes, whatever.  So here's my response to this week's thread (with a few edits/additions).

--- 

This morning's official weight was 190.4.  Better than the 191-ish it's been playing with the last few weeks ... but still not the 189 that it used to be for a little while but doesn't seem to want to be again.  I still say that my official weight is 189 -- I saw it, I'm claiming it.  The cool thing (I guess) about this neverending plateau is that it is forcing me to really look at my body and appreciate where I am right now.  When I have clothes on I feel slim and attractive.  (Let's not talk about the Nekkid Pam, though.)  I admire my profile view in the bathroom mirror at work (it's nearly full length) and notice that there aren't many bulges or lumps or rolls.  I think this new haircut makes my face look slim too and I am really appreciating my neck lately (thankful that I don't have too much saggy skin on my former-double-chin area).  And I'm loving my feet too.  I used to have ugly swollen ankles and chubby toes, but now my ankles and toes are slim and attractive.   I tried my high school class ring on the other day and it fit... in fact, it was too big.  I weighed 160 when I was 17 years old -- about the time I got that ring -- so at least I know my hands are smaller than they were in high school.  Not sure what that means, but it's nice to think about.  Funny the things we notice when we are forced to pay attention to the little things ... because the big things aren't happening at the moment.  So until the scale decided to do it's thing and show a few pounds loss.... I'll just keep noticing the little things this journey has given to me.

~Pam

Who Are You?

So I'm a curious type of person. I'm sure you've guessed that about me already. And lately I've been curious about my readers here. I keep an eye on my traffic (when I remember to) and notice that I'm consistently getting a lot of visitors every day ... anywhere from 75 to 150 unique visitors every day. Wow! That's kind of cool, huh?

I get comments from folks who I know and talk to in real life and they confess to having stalking tendencies when it comes to my blog .... and I love hearing from ya'll.

But I also get comments from anonymous folks that "seem" like they know me in real life or on a forum somewhere or that I "should" know who they are..... but I really have no clue who you are. Or maybe I would know who you are if only I got a hint. (Shasta, Woody - I'm talking to you!)

So show yourself. Or at least give me a hint how I know you. Or maybe you just stumbled across my blog from somewhere and decided to stick around. If I don't know you, tell me about yourself so I can get to know you too - afterall, my life is on display here, it's only fair that I know a couple of your secrets too, right? :: grin ::

I don't mind cyber-stalkers, really... I'm just curious and nosey and want to know who I'm talking to out there in cyberspace. If you don't want to do it out here in public, feel free to drop me an email.

Can't wait to meet ya!

~Pam

Race Day - St. Pat's

Today was the Bay City St. Patrick's Day 5k Race.  I'm so thankful that I got to do the race with 4 other members of my support group (and some hubbys too).  It was the first race for almost everyone and I'm proud of how well they all did!  We're already talking about the next race.

Distance:  3.1 miles

Time: 1:00:21

Pace: 19:28

Weather: 35, bitter cold wind, overcast (sun came out near end of race)

Going to School

Remember my 9 Goals for 2009? Number five on the list is to go back to school. So I'm doing it.

I'm a college drop out. I went to a private college right out of high school, ran out of money and came home. Then I picked up a few classes at the local community college over the years toward a business administration degree, but never finished. So technically I'm a double college drop out.

But the time has come for me to finally get my butt into gear and get the degree. I'll be majoring in Graphics Communication -- primarily because the graphic artist at work is getting ready to retire and I want his job, but I can't get it without a degree. It won't be a huge pay boost, but it'll be a position I'd enjoy much more than the one I have now (not that I hate my job, just that I often feel like I'm wasting my skills).

Last night I met with an admissions counselor and took an assessment test. Next week I go to new student orientation, meet with the dean, take another algebra test and register for classes. The following week.... classes start!

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I haven't attended college (in any real type of way) in about 12 years. I've taken a class or two here and there since then... but not seriously working toward a degree with a specific completion date and all that.

Also trying to determine if I want to just pay as I go and take fewer classes, or if I want to just take the plunge and do student loans and get it done as soon as I can. Taking on any debt scares me because I worked so hard to clear all my debt years ago ... so the student loan option is really iffy. But I also know that if this is going to take forever, I'm more likely to give up before its done. So trying to weigh those options and make a quick decision.

Also will need to think about the huge expenses of being a graphic design student -- new, more powerful computer, buying the super expensive Creative Suite 4 software package, etc.

I'm not sure which classes I'll start out with for this first semester/quarter. I was considering a "portfolio" class where I can work to obtain credit based on my work/life experience ... but it looks like I can't take that first and need to start out with some other things. I'll know more next week after talking to the dean.

So besides all the other stuff I've got going on in my life. It'll be interesting to see how I fit this new adventure into the mix without letting anything slip...

~Pam

Analyzing the Plateau

I know, I know, I know... I talk incessently about this stupid weight loss plateau that I've been battling for the past 3.5 months. (Yes, the scale has been stopped for 3.5 months!!) But it's kind of the focus of my journey right now, which means you get to hear me drone on about it until I'm blue in the face - and your ears fall off. I've really been analyzing my weight chart lately (yes it's computerized, stop laughing at me). I am cross referencing it with my exercise and food logs to see what I was doing when the weight was coming off and what's changed. Here are some things I've found:

• In the past 12 months I've lost a total of 38 pounds, with only 8 of those pounds coming off in the past 7 months.
• The dramatic slow down in weight loss seems to have started about 1/2 way through my half-marathon training when I was putting in about 20-35 miles a week and excercising my butt off.
• Calories don't seem to have any bearing on the scale. I was stalled when I ate 1,000 calories a day and I'm still stalled now that I eat 1,400 calories a day. (The increase was a change made after my RMR test.) Most people see a 1-2 pound increase in the days following a carb-binge, I don't. Not that I have carb-binges regularly, but it's happened from time to time and doesn't seem to make a difference.
• Even when I don't exercise for long stretches of time (ie: when my ankle was healing after the big race or when I'm lazy for a week) the scale still remains the same.

I think it's a metobolic thing. The whole "calories in vs. calories out" theory just isn't working right now. I'm convinced that starting out with PCOS has caused my body to react different than those without it. And being morbidly obese for an extended period of time didn't play nicely with my hormonal balance or my metabolism, I'm sure. But I don't know what the solution is - does anyone really? So I'm trying to focus less on the whole WLS process and focus more on life in general. I'm gearing up to finish my college degree (classes start April 6 as long as I can figure out how to pay for it all), I'm getting more involved in my Meetup.com groups, I'm "unplugging" more from the internet (not on OH or other forums/websites as much lately) and trying to focus on non-internet activities (like knitting, crafts, reading and spending time outdoors). I guess I'm just resigned at this point -- the scale is going to do whatever the heck it wants to do -- but I'm going to get on with my life and let it figure itself out without me. I'll continue to eat right and exercise and take care of myself emotionally and mentally, of course. It's not like I'm giving up.... I'm just continuing on. ~Pam

Casserole - Empty The Fridge Variety

Illustration by Jessica Lanan

This week I'm working on "Emptying the Fridge" .... eat what I have in th fridge, freezer or pantry instead of buying more groceries to add to the already-too-full-supply of food I have on hand. So this is what I made last night:

Empty the Fridge Casserole

(Note: the whole point of this casserole is to use up what you already have on hand, so if yours is different, that's a good thing. Just throw it all together and see how it comes out.)

1 leftover rotiserrie chicken (about 15oz worth of meat)
10 baby carrots - sliced
1 onion - diced
1 stalk celery - diced
1 c. zucchini chunks (from freezer)
1 c. mushrooms - sliced and diced
1 c. white beans (you know I have a ton of these!)
2 tablespoons minced garlic
1 tablespoon canola oil (for sauteeing)
1 8oz package frozen spinach/artichoke dip - thawed
1 8oz package shredded cheese (I used 3/4 cheddar and 1/4 italian blend)
Mrs. Dash (or whatever herbs/spices you want)
salt & pepper

In a large skillet, sautee all veggies until tender. Meanwhile... pull all the white and dark meat off the chicken (this was a store bought rotiserrie chicken, but you can use whatever you have on hand). Add chicken, spices and thawed spinach dip to skillet and let simmer for 10 minutes. Add half of the cheese and mix slightly. Pour mixture into 9x13 baking dish and top with remaining cheese. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly.

If I had thought about it, I probably would have added a handful of frozen edamame beans to the mix. But I forgot. This makes about 6 to 8 servings depending on the amount of your leftovers and your serving sizes. When I calculated the calories for my batch, it came out to around 300 calories per serving and 30g protein.

~Pam

To Train or Not to Train

Last year at this time I signed up for the 20-week training program that ended with a 10-mile race in August and a half marathon in October. The applications for this year's training program are due out any day now.

I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to do it this year or not. I know I'm not doing the same half marathon in October (because I'm working the race instead) .... but I know I want to do *A* big race sometime in the fall, I just haven't found the right race yet. I also know I'll be doing the 10-mile race with my WLS support group and we're not doing it for the best time... we're doing it to finish together no matter how long it takes us.

So the question I'm struggling with right now is "To train or not to train" --- not that I won't train either way, but do I want to sign up for the formal training or just do it on my own?

The formal program will be a built-in motivating factor because I will HAVE to meet my group every week for specific walking distances and I HAVE to do the mid-week homework walks in order to keep up with the increasing weekly distances. The formal program is going to cost me around $175. Yes, I get free race registrations with that price and a bunch of other free stuff.... so money isn't really the factor.

I guess the question in my mind is if I really want to be part of a formal program or if I want to do it on my own. For those who know me, I tend to be a loner and enjoy my own company. I like to travel on my own, go to movies or dinner on my own, walk my nature trails on my own. A group is fine once in a while, but I'm really not a group type of person.

The training program did change my life last year because it helped me achieve goals I fully doubted being able to accomplished on my own. But now that I know I can achieve them, can I do it on my own this year without the help of the "group" ?? And do I really just want to acheive the same old goals I've already acheived or do I want to move on to other things that I haven't yet set my sights on. If I lock myself into 20 weeks of training will I restrict myself from moving in a different direction? Or will switching from walking to learning-to-run be enough of a "new goal" for me?

I really can't seem to decide. So I thought writing it out here might help me figure it out. So far it hasn't. LOL! I'll be pondering the decision in the next few weeks. We'll see what happens.

~Pam

Crunchy Asian Coleslaw

I modified a Weight Watchers recipe to make this last night. It's much better the next day.

Crunchy Asian Coleslaw

1 bag broccoli slaw
1/2 cup dry roasted peanuts (or slivered almonds)
1/2 cup golden raisins
1 pear -- sliced/diced
1 apple -- sliced/diced
1 package ramen noodles (discard the seasoning packet and only use the crunchy noodles)
1/2 cup Newman's Low Fat Seasame Ginger Dressing

Mix all ingredients together and let them get happy together in the refrigerator for a few hours before serving. It's definitely better the next day though.

Yum!

Race Day

It's interesting to participate in a road race sponsored by a running club.  It was about 95% runners and 5% walkers .... and even the 5% walkers were made up of mostly power walkers (who walk just as fast as some of the runners).  So yeah, I was in the minority this morning.  But that's alright because I finished the race, I got a pretty decent time and I didn't freeze too bad.  

Distance: 3.1 miles

Time:  51:15

Pace: 16:32

Weather:  34, cold, overcast, sprinkling

I'll be reading ....

Today's goal is to catch up on my blog reading. I have 406 new messages waiting for me on my Bloglines feed. So if you see a comment come through on your blog post that you made a month ago... know that it's just me, catching up on stuff. LOL! ~Pam

Air It Out

Today Nikki posted her usual weekly thread on OH that allows people to "air out" their frustrations and struggles. I'm usually pretty easy going and don't have anything to contribute ... but today I had stuff to air out. Figured I'd share it here too. --- Lately I've been short-tempered with people. My mom, my best friend, co-workers and folks online. My best friend says he hasn't noticed it .... which makes me think I might be internalizing the frustration and it's bigger in my mind that in reality. I don't know if it's related to my scale frustration or the "Winter Blues" or the issues I've been having with my workouts -- whatever it is, I need to spend some time with myself and deal with the emotions in a more productive manner. I've been trying to avoid OH and other forums a bit lately -- obviously, not entirely, but it's been a lot less than usual. I'm working hard to "unplug" myself from the internet and focus on activities that are less computer-focused. Last night when I got home I cooked a pot of soup and planted 2 new terrariums, did some housework and had a nice visit with my mom when she stopped over to the house. I didn't even get online to check email until around 10pm, which is a pretty amazing departure from the norm. I think I got off easy at the beginning of my weight loss in regard to the depression and emotional havoc that comes with the rapid estrogen surge from fat cells. Now at 15 months out, I'm dealing with a lot of that crap. Internalizing it won't help. So I'm using my Emotional Journal more often, trying new meditation techniques and just trying to spend time getting to know myself a bit more and learning to love the person I am. ~Pam

It's all about fresh air

I walked tonight.  Outside.  It was cold, but the fresh air was worth it.  I was amazed at how great I felt during the entire workout simply because I was outside.  

This whole depression, not-sleeping, anxiety thing I've been battling for the past month.... I now believe it all stemmed from not getting my exercise in the great outdoors!  Yes, really.  I came home full of energy and spent a couple hours doing chores and cooking and getting stuff done.

Being cooped up in the gym all winter finally wore me down.  I didn't realize how bad I was feeling until I experienced the energizing workout I had tonight.  

I can't wait until tomorrow when I can do it again. 

~Pam

I've been published

Ok, I personally wasn't published, but I was quoted in a published article.  Does that still count?  A couple months ago I answered a survey asking about various aspects of my weight loss surgery journey.  My comments were used in an article that was published in WLS Lifestyles Magazine (which is a great magazine, by the way, and you should subscribe).  

I talked about the my experience taking the 10-week group therapy course shortly after my surgery: Holisitc Comprehensive Wellness Plan.

If you'd like to read the article.  Here's the link:

In Search for the Magic Bullet

Kinda cool, huh?

~Pam