Thursday, March 05, 2009

Air It Out

Today Nikki posted her usual weekly thread on OH that allows people to "air out" their frustrations and struggles. I'm usually pretty easy going and don't have anything to contribute ... but today I had stuff to air out. Figured I'd share it here too. --- Lately I've been short-tempered with people. My mom, my best friend, co-workers and folks online. My best friend says he hasn't noticed it .... which makes me think I might be internalizing the frustration and it's bigger in my mind that in reality. I don't know if it's related to my scale frustration or the "Winter Blues" or the issues I've been having with my workouts -- whatever it is, I need to spend some time with myself and deal with the emotions in a more productive manner. I've been trying to avoid OH and other forums a bit lately -- obviously, not entirely, but it's been a lot less than usual. I'm working hard to "unplug" myself from the internet and focus on activities that are less computer-focused. Last night when I got home I cooked a pot of soup and planted 2 new terrariums, did some housework and had a nice visit with my mom when she stopped over to the house. I didn't even get online to check email until around 10pm, which is a pretty amazing departure from the norm. I think I got off easy at the beginning of my weight loss in regard to the depression and emotional havoc that comes with the rapid estrogen surge from fat cells. Now at 15 months out, I'm dealing with a lot of that crap. Internalizing it won't help. So I'm using my Emotional Journal more often, trying new meditation techniques and just trying to spend time getting to know myself a bit more and learning to love the person I am. ~Pam

1 comment:

  1. It's weird even though we had surgery at differents times my emotional path is just about inline with yours. I really can't stand myself lately . . I know that sounds really bad but I'm such a crab, I can't seem to really focus. I took the dog for a walk today before I came to work and even though it was just a stroll compared to a real walking workout it felt great. Hang in there Spring is just around the corner! Kristy


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