And it's only 4:00

Is it a full moon? Or is it Monday? Sheesh! I don't know what the deal is today but people are seriously crazy here at work. It's 4pm and I want a cookie... there are some in the breakroom (homemade, oatmeal cowboy cookies). But instead I'm blogging about my hectic day and my need for a cookie and I'm drinking my Crystal Light and not eating cookies. Blah! ~Pam

Quote of the Day

It's not a race to get "there" because "there" is where you already are...healthier.

Amy is so wise. She said this in one of her posts today on OH. This whole process of losing weight.... it's a journey, not a destination. It's important to remind ourselves of this often. ~Pam

Questions About my Weight

In the past few weeks I've noticed people asking me about my weight and how much more I plan to lose. Many are saying things like, "You must be almost done losing, right?" And when I say I have more to go, they always seem surprised that I'm not done. It seems odd. I started this journey at 299 pounds. I've lost 95 pounds so far. My BMI started at 49 and is now at 33 - which is firmly in the "obese" category. My first goal weight is set at "160-ish" which would still leave me in the "overweight" category on the BMI chart. My surgeon's ideal goal weight for me is 130 which would put my BMI at 21 - right in the middle of the "normal" range. I'm still wearing 16/18 size pants and shirts ... that doesn't feel like a normal size to me just yet. I seem to be carrying most of the rest of my excess weight in my belly and hip area. My thighs could definitely use toning and fat loss too. My face and upper body is the slimmest part of me right now, I think. Eventually I want to be in a size of clothing that is "normal." I don't want to shop in the plus size departments anymore and I want to be able to go into any store and buy a typical size without a bunch of fuss. So technically I have anywhere from 35 lbs to 74 lbs left to lose - depending on whose goal you consider. Once I hit that first goal weight of "160-ish" I'll re-evaluate my progress and decide what to do from there. I might be perfectly happy at 169. Or I might feel I need to lose a bit more to get where I want to be. I won't know until I get there. I've stopped answering that question ("how much more do you have to lose?") with a number. My new response is that I'm not sure how much more I have to go yet, my body will let me know when I'm done. It seems strange that so many other people are obsessed about my weight and that magical number .... when I am not obsessing about it at all. I don't have a deadline for my weight loss and I don't have tunnel vision when it comes to hitting a certain number. I'm just enjoying the journey and seeing where I end up. ~Pam

The Price of Post-Op Life

Andrea made a great post on OH about how much she pays for vitamins and supplements after surgery. I thought I'd crunch some numbers and record my costs too. 


Often newbies don't realize how much things are going to cost after surgery -- it's best to go into this journey with your eyes wide open. Here's my vitamin / medication regime. Many of these figures represent a portion of the total price of the bottle. So if the Fish Oil tabs have 120 pills in a bottle, I calculated the monthly cost based on that quantity. So the monthly numbers might seem low individually, but the up front costs of these items might be higher when you buy them. 


VITAMINS / SUPPLEMENTS 

• 2 Multi-Vitamins/day (Centrum Adult Chewables) $12/month 
• 2000mg Calcium Citrate (Bariatric Advantage Lozenges) $13/month 
• B-12 Sublingual (4 tabs per week) $2/month 
• Biotin (1 pill per day) $2/month 
• Omega 3 Fish Oil (1 pill per day) $2/month 
• Non-laxative stool softener (2 pills per day) $1/month
• Papaya Enzyme (used in case something gets stuck and needs help) $1/month

PRESCRIPTIONS RELATED TO WLS SPECIFICALLY 

• Vitamin D - 50,000IU (1 per week) over the counter - $20/month 
• Prevacid (1 pill per day for 1st year post-op) co-pay $25/month 

PROTEIN POWDER / SHAKES / BARS AND OTHER SUPPLEMENTS 

• 1 Protein Shake per day $30/month (For the first 3 months after surgery I was required to drink 3 shakes per day, so $90/month) 
• Approximately 2 boxes of bars per month $10/month 1 case of SlimFast Low Carb RTD Shakes (when I don't have time to make a shake) $6/month 

CLOTHES 
Approximate budget $30/month Extra stash for the Goal-Weight-Shopping-Spree fund $20/month 


GROCERIES 
I'm single and spend approximately $200-$250/month on healthy food choices at the grocery store.  This is about the same as what I spent pre-op because I eat similar to what I ate while dieting for 24 months before surgery. Although some of my protein supplements might be included in this approximate total. My point is that my grocery bill did not decrease after surgery. It's about the same as pre-op. 


TOTALS 

• Vitamins & Supplements --- $33/month
• Rx Co-Pays --- $45/month 
• Protein Supplements --- $46/month 
• Clothes --- $50/month Total --- $164/month 

As Andrea mentioned in her post. This is a commitment I made for the rest of my life. I knew what I was getting myself into and knew an approximate budget I was facing. I did a written estimate about 2 months before my surgery when I was deciding about my Flexible Spending Account. I actually over-estimated my costs and now I might be stuck with an excess in my FSA. What I didn't account for was being OFF all my pre-op medications once I lost the weight, so all those prescription co-pays are gone. So in the end much of the added expense is evening out a bit.


I'll write a new post soon about my Shopping Spree Fund. Someone mentioned this when I was first starting my journey and I'm glad I've implemented it for myself. 


 ~Pam

Who's the Boss?

Guess I started to get cocky today. I haven't had any pouch issues lately and feel like I've been eating pretty normally. Normal people eat cinnamon rolls, right? Right. "Normal" people do eat cinnamon rolls ... but WLS people don't. So my pouch told me who was boss today. Lesson learned. ~Pam

Holistic Health Update -- Spiritual Health

Back in May I set a schedule for myself to work on various areas of my health. Even though I haven't updated on my progress, I really have been working on things. Here's what my original schedule looked like:

May 13- June 13 -- Spiritual Health

June 13- July 13 -- Financial Health

July 13- August 13 -- Emotional Health

September 13- October 13 -- Relationship Health

October 13- November 13 -- Intellectual Health

So this post will give you an update on how I did back in May with working on my spiritual health.

Spiritual Health

I am a Christian and love God and worship Him. I pray often and know my scriptures. I grew up in a Christian household. We went to church every Sunday morning and night and sometimes on Wednesday nights for prayer service.

After high school I attended Faith Baptist Bible College for three semesters (until I ran out of money for tuition).

When I got home from college I worked for my church as the secretary and helped out in the elementary/high school they ran. I was even the cheerleading coach for the high school girls of the Bible School. I was active in my single ministry group right after college and made many lifelong friends in the Christian community.

Fast forward several years and I found myself a part of a church family (different church) that I did not enjoy. The minister was dictatorial and sapped my spirit. One day as I was sitting in a service and realized my heart was filled with hate for the minister instead of love and joy of being in God's House, I knew it was time for me to leave the church. After I left, I had trouble finding a new church family. After a year of searching for a new home, I decided to instead focus on my own personal relationship with God. Eventually I found that I grew closer to Him and felt more in-tuned with my own spirituality and prayed more than ever before -- when I didn't have the distraction of organized religion I could give my full attention to my Savior. I have not attended church regularly for about 7 years now.

So why do I feel that I need to work on my spiritual health now after WLS?

I felt I needed to explore in more depth the word "Spirituality" and learn more about myself and how I relate to the rest of the universe. Not just my relationship with God, but also my relationship with myself and my own spirit.

I floundered for a week or so with this task. It's a daunting one, right? Then I found the book, "Spirituality for Dummies." Ha! Not very profound and spiritual sounding, but I knew I needed a guidebook that would walk me through the entire process of discovering my spirit.

I knew that the Spiritual Health task could not be contained within a one month timeframe. But having that first month to really focus on this aspect of my health gave me a jumpstart into the exploration. I am slowly working my way through the book and using my journal to keep notes and ideas and thoughts. It's a book you need to take in small doses - just a section at a time - and let it digest and dwell on it before you move on to the next section. I'm enjoying the journey.

So I'm still a work in progress. And I feel great about the direction I'm heading.

~Pam

I have a Tiara

Visited my dentist this morning and he determined I needed a crown for my broken tooth. I've never had a crown before, so I guess I didn't really know what I was getting into. Dang! Not a fun adventure! So I've a temp crown on now and will go back in a couple weeks for my permanent tooth. Currently nursing a big headache and some general face achiness. Normally I'd reach for some Excederin but since us RNY'ers don't do NSAIDs I've had to stick with Tylenol. Which of course doesn't do much. I've got some pain meds left over from after surgery and I'm considering taking a dose before bed to help me sleep. We'll see. I told my friend M that I got a crown. And he said, "Don't you mean a tiara?" ~Pam

I broke my tooth

I broke my tooth last night on a kernel of popcorn. One of the back ones. Not much pain, but been nursing a headache most of the day and since the edges are sharp, my tongue has a million tiny cuts on it. Been eating soft foods today and even that has been difficult. Going to see my super cute dentist tomorrow morning.... ~Pam

Preparing for Surgery

It took me about 16 months to get approved after I started the process (which is a pretty typical amount of time). And once I got approved for surgery I had another 6 weeks to wait for my date to arrive. Keeping busy helps pass the time and prepare you for life after WLS -- this is what I did:

• Read, read, read and read some more. Read every profile you can get your hands on at OH and every book you can get your hands on about WLS. WLS for Dummies is a great place to start when it comes to books. And you're welcome to read my profile on OH or my blog too. 
• Research your butt off! Learn everything you can about how your digestive system works, what your body does with different macronutrients (protein, carbs, fats), what happens after surgery to our system and how it processes medications, how certain vitamins and supplements effect your body, why certain supplements are better for us than others (i.e.: iron and calcium citrate vs. carbonate), the differences in types of exercise and what is best for your body type and how you want your body to burn energy. Also research multi-vitamins to find out which one is best for you based on nutrition and the way it's produced (look for the USP symbol). The links in this paragraph point you to some of the research I've done for myself or websites that'll help you dig deeper. 
• Start a WLS Binder. I have this great binder where I keep all my information about my own personal WLS. I have a copy of my medical records, a listing of all my current medications (including dosage, prescribing doctor, reason for taking it, etc.), my personal reasons for wanting WLS and a list of my goals. I also have a copy of all the paperwork my surgeon's office gave me including the checklist of requirements I needed to fulfil before surgery, letters from my insurance and PCP, my 12 month diet documentation paperwork, etc. I also keep a copy of the eating plan and all the sample menus from my nutritionist. I keep my weight loss chart and measurements chart in this binder. Each section is concise and well organized. I take this book with me to all doctor appointments and keep it on my kitchen counter for easy access and reference. I call it my WLS Bible. 
• Start collecting recipes. Eggface's blog is a good starting point. Charlie and Lea have great blogs/sites. And don't forget about Nik's Bariatric Foodie blog.  I put all my favorites into a binder that I refer to often. (Update:  That "binder" has now become my Protein Recipe Book.) And keep an eye on my Recipe Index for old recipes and new ones being added all the time. 
• Clean house. Clear out the pantry and cupboards of any foods you won't be eating after surgery (or shouldn't be eating before surgery while trying to lose weight). Give it all to family members or a food bank -- get it out of the house. The sooner you get rid of temptations the easier it'll be to stick to your pre-op diet plan. 
• Take a critical look at your dishes. I got rid of my huge pasta-type bowls and other dishware that promoted over-sized servings. I then started shopping around for some new dishes that were pretty, smaller and something I'd enjoy eating off of. This is the set I decided on - but instead of buying the big dinner plates and bowls... I bought the sets of salad plates and dessert size bowls only. I bought these for myself after I was approved for surgery as a congratulatory gift to myself for dealing with all the insurance hoops. And then I didn't start using them until after I came home from the hospital after surgery. They're pretty and make me happy when I eat off them and it reinforced the fact that I'm completely changing my way of eating -- not just the food is different, even the dishes are different.
• Consider your disposable dishes too. Protein shakes are messy and make washing glasses very difficult if you don't rinse them right away. I also have my protein shakes on the run most often -- so leaving a glass in the car all day is a pain in the butt. So I opted for disposable plastic glasses for my protein shakes. Makes my life easier. I also opted for disposable plastic storage containers --- the 6oz kind with a lid. You know those little plastic container you get for to-go salad dressing or cole slaw from a restaurant... that's what I bought. When you open a can of something (soup or whatever) you won't be able to eat it all. So why not store the leftovers in individually portioned containers so it's easy to grab something for the next meal. BUT -- at the end of the week you're going to have dozens of those stupid leftovers and you aren't going to feel like washing dishes. So it's easier to just toss the whole bowl instead of washing 20 tiny tupperware bowls every week. I had enough to worry about in the early days after surgery, I didn't want housework to be one of them.  (Check out this recent post that shows some of the disposable dishes I still use for pre-packaging protein shakes)
• Find a support group and start attending. An in-person group is the most important thing I've done for myself. The information shared at a peer-to-peer support group is invaluable. You hear what others are struggling with and the suggestions they receive from other members. This is real-life stuff here! I've made some great friends and have been able to help others with my story and experiences. I learn something every single time I go to a meeting. I attend 3 different support group meetings each month and wouldn't give up any of them. 
• Protein Powder. If you're doing high protein dieting right now, you're going to want to find a protein shake that you like now, before surgery. Definitely expect that flavor to not work after surgery, but at least you'll have the chance to get into the habit of shakes in your meal planning. Once your surgery date gets closer, you can order some samples of protein powder that you can use after surgery -- finding the right protein powder for you is a huge game of experimentation.  Explore this Protein Shake Primer for more details.

The more knowledge you have about how things will be after surgery, the more successful you'll be for the rest of your life. Knowledge is power!

~Pam

Allan is at it again...

A year or so ago I spent a week reading every post on an amazing blog about a man, Allan, who uses the gastric bypass diet/eating plan to lose weight. No, he hasn't had WLS and doesn't plan to -- but he eats based on a gastric bypass diet plan he picked up somewhere. Check out his blog: Almost Gastric Bypass His current blog only goes back to August 2006 ... I think he had another site where his earlier messages were, but they were deleted it seems. But even going back as far as this site goes is definitely a good read. What strikes me is how hard he works at this thing. Remember, this guy didn't have surgery -- he's got a big old normal sized stomach that can hold up to 4 liters of food (that's 16 cups!) - but he's still eating tiny portions (1 to 4 oz) that a WLS patient would consume. So his hunger level has got to be through the roof. I didn't start feeling hunger again after surgery until I hit about the 6-month mark. And even now when I'm "hungry" it's not the same type of hunger feelings I had before surgery. It's more like an "empty" feeling or a knowledge that my body needs nourishment. Not the knawing, ravenous hunger of pre-op days. I can't imagine eating 1oz to 4oz of food in those early days with a full-sized stomach and all the hormones that goes with it. Yes, he does add vitamins and supplements, so he's focusing on staying healthy during this process. The big thing that jumps out at me is his diet plan. It is so much more difficult than what I had to endure. His eating plan calls for: Day 1-3 --- water only through 3 weeks --- full liquids only through 3 months --- soft pureed food 3 months & beyond -- solid food My diet plan after my WLS was more like this: Day 1 (day of surgery) -- nothing Day 2 (after leak test) -- water, broth, protein shake (in the hospital) Day 3 - 8 -- all clear and full liquids Day 8 - 6 weeks -- soft pureed foods (added meat/tuna/chicken around week 3) through 3 months -- solid food (limitations on raw veggies, seeds, citrus) 3 months onward -- any food I have seen some pretty strict post-op eating plans in my travels on the WLS forums, similar to Allan's plan, but they are very rare these days. It seems that doctors are starting patients on solid food much sooner than they used to 3 to 5 years ago. When someone posts that they are eating pureed food for up to 3 months we are all shocked and amazed. Personally, my surgeon says that the longer a WLS patient waits to add dense food to their diet, the more likely they are to develop a stricture or other complications or difficulties in eating normally down the road. So anyway. This post isn't to criticize Allan's plan - just compare the differences. And also to show my support for his dedication and willpower. He's done this before and I have faith he'll do it again. It's a lot of hard work, but I know he's up for it! Go Allan! ~Pam

I'm Not Superwoman

Last night I hit a wall. And paid for it this morning when I overslept for work because I couldn't get out of bed. And now, as I sit here at my desk, I'm still exhausted. For the past month I have literally been running at high speed without taking the time to relax, rejuvinate and take care of myself. And it is catching up to me at full force. I have been leaving my house at 7:15 a.m. every morning and not getting home until 9:30 or 10:00 p.m. every night during the week. Then weekends have been packed with family stuff, errands and other obligations. No wonder I've been grumpy. I don't want to deal with people. I don't want to be nice. I just want to be left alone. I just want to be home. My patience has run out and I noticed yesterday that I've grumpy to people that I care about. I mentioned this to my best friend M yesterday and he agreed. He's twisted and said he actually liked it when I was grumpy -- but I personally don't like myself when I act like that. Or when feel grumpy inside, for that matter. I need to get a grip on my attitude before it gets away from me. This past weekend I actually had 2 days with no plans and wanted to take advantage of the time alone to recoup from a few crazy weeks of busyness. But instead of relaxing, I ran errands, cleaned the house, dealt with my car stuff and was busy all weekend getting things done that had been put on the back burner while I'd been busy. Not exactly relaxing, huh? Last night I decided to skip my regular workout session and go straight home and spend the evening doing nothing. True to form, I had to make a quick stop at the store to pick up some stuff for work on the drive home so I didn't get home until after 7:00 p.m. I sat down on the couch and crashed. I could have gone to sleep right there and slept all night. But I got up and made dinner and watched TV for a while before going to bed early. I was so exhausted. This morning I literally slept through my alarm. The garbage truck outside my window woke me up and I realized my alarm had been going off for an hour and a half. And I don't see any relief in sight for the next several days either. I think my first free day is Wednesday of next week... So it's pretty obvious to me right now that I'm Not Superwoman. I can't do everything without rest. I need to take some downtime and relax. I need to find a balance between work, family obligations, my exercise schedule, finding time to relax as well as do the social things I want to get involved in. Balance. It's all about balance, isn't it? I'll add that to my list --- as soon as I get a minute to breath. ~Pam

7.3 Miles Yesterday ... Sore Today

Our walking group did 7.3 miles last night. Thankfully the weather wasn't too hot and there was a nice breeze. We did it in 2 hours, 18 minutes -- a bit slower than our normal pace, but we all seemed to be rolling at the same speed last night with no stragglers (like me, for instance). All during the walk last night, I had a little bit of a stitch in my upper right thigh -- or hip, I guess. Nothing to keep me from walking, just a bit of discomfort that seemed to bordering on a muscle cramp, but never really got to the point of a full blown cramp. This morning I'm hobbling like an old woman! That little stitch in my hip/thigh is now screaming at me today. My feet were a bit sore when I got out of bed this morning, but that went away quickly. Hopefully some stretches and some recovery time will take care of the thigh thingy. But it sure did feel good to accomplish 7.3 miles! Only 5 more weeks of training until the Crim 10 Mile Race on August 23rd. I can't believe it's coming up so quickly. ~Pam

Women's Gym Shorts & Ugly Thighs

Remember that Nair commercial with the song "I wear short shorts." That must be the new theme at the athletic clothing designer companies because if you've been shopping for gym shorts lately, that are REALLY short. Like.... bend-over-and-show-your-cheeks kind of short. And I won't even get into the peeve about women's shorts not having pockets. How annoying!

And after you lost 94 pounds your thighs aren't very pretty. Mine are definitely saggy and flabby with all the weight loss... so I'm not thrilled to be showing them off to the world when I workout.

So I bought men's shorts instead. I guess men don't want to show off their rear-ends, huh? They also must have stuff to carry around with them because they all come with pockets.

So the good news is that those men's athletic shorts I bought today. Size LARGE. Wow!

Ok, vent over.

Pam

Caffeine

About 2 months before surgery I gave up caffeine. I used to stop every morning on the way in to work and get a 24oz coffee / fake-latte from the gas station near my office. It was a tough transition to kick the habit and I did it slowly by first switching to a smaller coffee (16oz), then to decaf, then eventually to just water or hot herbal tea. That was 10 months ago.

I can't say that I've missed caffeine, per se. But I've missed the ritual of it. I'd been stopping for that coffee every morning for 3 or 4 years. I'd made "friends" with the folks who also stopped every morning at the same time and was friendly with the owner of the business. Eventually I stopped going to the station all together because it didn't make sense to just stop and buy a bottle of water when it was so tempting to just pour myself a cup of coffee instead.

Since surgery I've had the occassional latte from Starbucks (the one inside Barnes & Noble) or the local coffeehouse (Harvest Coffeehouse in Frankenmuth - love them!). My normal order is a decaf latte made with skim milk and some type of sugar-free flavored syrup. Yummm! But this was very occassional -- maybe two or three times per month. Although I do love going to Harvest on the weekends to hear their live music, so it's been a bit more often lately.

In the past month or so I've gotten into the habit of having a cup of decaf coffee in the morning when I arrive at work. Literally 1 cup -- probably less than a full 8oz since the cups are so small. Again, not necessarily for the caffeine (yes, there is a small amount of caffeine in decaf) - but for the ritual of it all.

This morning though... I had a mug of fully caffeinated coffee. For the first time in 10 months.

I was literally sitting at my desk struggling to stay awake. My eyes were drooping and my body just felt exhausted. I just wanted to curl up under my desk and take a nap. So I decided to try some caffeinated coffee to jolt me awake. I dug out my mug from a desk drawer (much larger than the tiny cups in the coffee-room) and I poured myself a mug of fuel.

I'm awake!

Guess the caffeine did the trick for me this morning. I'm no longer dragging or sleepy and don't have an overwhelming need for a nap.

So today's mug of caffeine worked the way I wanted it to. Will I go back to my daily coffee fix at the gas station? Probably not. And I'll probably stick with my usual choice of decaf coffee when I hit the coffeehouse. I don't need (or want) to get my body addicted to the caffeine again.

~Pam

8 Months Out and Misbehaving

Today marks my 8-month mark. Wow! Eight months. I can't believe it's been that long. Wasn't it just last week that I was coming home from the hospital or doing my first weigh in? Time is going so fast. I've lost 93 pounds. I started this journey at 299 pounds and I'm about to cross that threshold into the 100's. I'm just 6 pounds away from another 25-pound reward. How exciting. But there are some days I can't seem to wrap my head around those number or the dramatic changes I'm seeing in myself. I'm 2/3 of the way to my goal weight. I'm 100% at goal for my health issues and feel great about my progress and success with getting healthy. I'm still working on my "Character Goals" and will update you on my progress in that area soon. Today begins my quest for better emotional health. But ... Here I sit on the 8th month anniversary of my WLS and I am misbehaving. I ate cookies today. Yep, you read right. I actually bought chocolate chip cookies on purpose - 3 of them - and ate every single crumb. I've also eaten too many snacks today including popcorn, a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwish and a rice cake. Not that those snacks were bad by themselves... but all in one day at unscheduled snack times makes them bad. I'm at my calorie limit for the day, but not at my protein goal yet. Nice job, Pam. Idiot. And I still have to figure out what to do for dinner. Gonna have to be pure protein, right? "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it." One of my favorite quotes from Anne of Green Gables. Guess I need to take that advice to heart and not beat myself up too badly over today's mistakes. ~Pam

100 Ways

My life is changing at record breaking speed. I notice things everyday that make me smile and make me happy that I'm working so hard to lose this extra weight. So here is my next installment of the "100 Ways my Life has Changed Since Losing Weight." 

41. I have a boney butt. My uncle used to tease me about this when I was a little girl and would sit on his lap, but it's been a long, long time since I've been accused of it. Now it's actually uncomfortable to sit too long on a hard chair. 

42. I pass a mirror and can't believe my eyes. I have to stop, look, turn and just admire myself for an extra few seconds. Before surgery I'd hate passing mirrors. 

43. I have the stamina to deal with extended period of busyness. It's been non-stop activity, errands and running for the past 10 days and I still have the energy to keep going. (Although I'm looking forward to an evening of relaxing tonight after work.) 

44. I have made so many wonderful friends in the WLS community. Who would have thought that I'd lose so much weight and gain so many fabulous people in my life? 

45. I can sleep. I know I've listed this one before, but it still amazes me that I can sleep so soundly through the night and feel refreshed in the morning. It's been so long since I've slept so well and I love every minute of it. 

46. I sold all my "FAT" clothes last weekend at the yard sale. Well, sold a lot of them and donated the rest to charity. It feels great to shed that baggage from my life knowing I won't ever need them again. 

47. I will be photographing my cousin, Peggy's wedding next weekend. I'll be on my feet all day and working my butt off. I'm not worried about how I'll do or how I'll feel. I'm confident that I'll have enough energy to make it through the long day and not take 3 days to recover from such an event. (When I photographed my sister's wedding 2 months before surgery it literally took me 3 days to start feeling good again - was so sore and so tired after that long day.) 

48. I'm wearing clothes that a co-worker gave to me from her closet. It's strange to imagine that I'm the same size as she is. 

49. I have a completely different mindset about food. When I want a "treat" I don't run for a pizza or cake or candy ... I seek out something healthy like a handful of grapes or sugar-free popsicle or a tortilla pizza with fat-free turkey pepperoni and sliced tomatoes. Or like dinner last night was oven roasted tomatoes with herbs and cheese - and that was an answer to a craving for them. Who would have guessed! 

50. I have a tan! Remember those summers as a kid when you'd play outside all day long and by the end of June you'd have an amazing tan from all the sunshine. Now that I'm outside walking so many hours every week I've gotten a rich deep tan that makes my skin glow and makes me look healthy and happy.

A 5K Race Tonight

I walked my best time for a 5K race -- so far. I finished in 52 minutes 48 seconds. Beat my best time by a full 2 minutes. It was the Huckleberry Hustle held at the Huckleberry Railroad and Cross Roads Village park. It's a little theme park type thing based on a historic village when life was simplier. The trail ran through the village and the "backwoods" -- lots of rough roads and rocky trails and across fields and through woods. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow evening after work. I have NOTHING scheduled and plan to do exactly that. Nothing. Talk to you soon, ~Pam

Yard Sale Weekend

My entire closet of plus size clothes is packed up, priced and ready to be sold at the yard sale this weekend. I have about an hour to gather as much other crap from the house and get it in the pile of stuff to sell. Plus still have to pack my clothes to wear this weekend, some WLS friendly food choices for meals and all the other crap I need to live in the camper at my aunt's house for the next 4 days. The great thing about doing a yard sale is the money $$$. Any money I make from this sale is going straight to my "Clothing Fund" envelope. Have I told you about my Clothing Fund? It's an envelope with money and gift cards in it. At the end of the payperiod, whatever money is left over in my wallet goes into the envelope and any gift cards, extra windfall money or whatever -- goes into the envelope. Then when I hit my goal weight I'll have a stash to use to buy a new wardrobe. So I better get off here and go finish up the packing process. Mom will be here with the trailer to load all much crap up in less than an hour. Have a happy 4th! Pam