Saturday, January 03, 2009


I watch what I eat.  I track my calories.  I count grams of protein I eat and ounces of water I drink. I exercise.  I eat salad and lean meats.  
Am I on a diet?
No.  I do not feel like I'm on a diet.  I feel like I have changed the way I eat and act and feel about food, but I don't think of it as a diet.  Not in the traditional definition of "diet."
So why do I feel guilt when I eat something that's not a part of my typical plan of healthy food?  Why do I feel like I am cheating.  Cheating like you'd cheat on a diet.  If it's not a diet, doesn't that mean that you can't cheat on it?  
I want to get to a point in my way of thinking that no food is "good" or "bad" and that I can live with whichever choice I make as long as my overall choices are healthy.  This whole relationship with food thing is harder than I anticipated. 

1 comment:

  1. Hello Pam,

    I agree. My food issues are cropping up again too & I am surprised. Things have been fairly easy for so long. At 13 months out and 183 lbs down, I am thinking about eating, constantly. I want to & CAN eat more! I feel full most of the day and consequently feel guilty. The fullness doesn't seem to be a deterent any longer. In fact, I want to feel full. I fear I am using that familiar feeling to "zone out" or relax as I did pre-surg...yikes! Scary.

    On Fitday (yes, I am recording again), I am up on cals @ 1600 w/ ratio about the same as always (pro-37%,Fat-37%,carbs-26%), I've just added more volume plus extra bites/snacks here & there. I can eat allot more than previously and feel out of, or... on the verge of, out-of-control.

    Is it the chicken or the egg? My food addiction or am I missing something in my diet? The constant question. Foolishly, I have been lax in keeping track on Fitday for the last few months and unfortuantely have no way of being certain.

    You have been diligent and are in balance with your carb/protein etc., yet are struggling too ...from what I gather. Since we are struggling at about the same time, Is this a "normal" stage of the wls journey, from your research? could be the holiday overload. I have eaten a bit more sugar in the form of dark chocolate & KNOW that I have an addiction to sweets. One "Oh Yeah! chocolate protein bar", doesn't seem to be quite enough right now. I sometimes eat 1.5 or 2bars/day...not good! I want to eat the chocolate.

    As I am writing, It is clear that I need to try some new recipies. The "Oh Yeahs" are easy, quick-fix food. I have been lazy about preparing food or should I say - about prioritizing my health & taking the best care of myself lately. I am going to try your baked oatmeal tomorrow :) I am also going to start journalling my emotional life to determine if that is triggering my food compulsions.

    Well, thanks for listening and sharing your journey!

    Your OH friend, Jo (josully)


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