It gets harder...

Jason over at My Angle on Weight Loss posted today about how hard the weight loss journey is over time. He's accomplished amazing things - lost 130lbs using Weight Watchers, runs marathons and 50-mile endurance races. But still, nearly 3 years later, he still struggles just like the rest of us. In today's post he said...

I never would have dreamed that it would be this hard. I had such a streak, such a long time that things were so easy but now it seems that all of that is gone. It appears that not even one thing about doing WW or this healthy eating journey is coming easy anymore. I can’t seem to re-do some bad habits.... I don’t feel much capable of encouraging others on their health journey. I am barely hanging on to my own journey right now.

Jason's words could have just as easily been spoken out of my own mouth. For the first year or 18 months of this WLS journey it was pretty easy to follow the plan and be on track. But now that I'm approaching the 2 year mark I'm amazed at how much harder it has gotten. I've been struggling lately with old habits creeping back in. Struggling with a bad attitude about doing the right thing because sometimes you just get tired of always doing the right thing. Struggling with finding an exercise that doesn't hurt but still burns the extra calories I need to burn. Struggling with staying on schedule with my vitamins. And just like Jason, I wonder how I can encourage others on their healthy journey when sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing so well on my own journey. I know that this stems from being discouraged about the lack of weight loss.... with my body's inability to lose weight for some strange reason that nobody can figure out. It's been 10 months for crying out loud!! I know that I say "Don't let the number on the scale determine your self worth!" - but when that number taunts me and tortures me, how can I not let it wiggle its way into my thoughts with self doubt? I'm giving in to food cravings too often. I'm not working hard enough to find an exercise that works for my injured knee. I'm not being faithful with my all the doses of my vitamins everyday. I'm not journaling my food regularly (because I'm too lazy or because I don't need to, not sure which?) I'm not drinking enough water. I'm not scheduling enough down time to let my body recoup from the hectic schedule I keep. I'm not meditating like I want to be. I'm not journaling like I want to be. I'm not working on all the other life goals I've set for myself that I want to see accomplished. No, I'm not looking for any magic solutions or sympathy. I'm not even looking for a plan to accomplish all the things I know I'm not doing. I'm just putting it out there that I'm struggling too, just like so many others. Maybe acknowledging that there's a struggling going on, saying it out loud for the universe to hear, helps us handle the daily battles better. Maybe having a list of things I know I need to work on will help me tackle one small task at a time instead of looking at the whole and remaining overwhelmed. Knowing you're out there, supporting me and encouraging me in my journey - it makes the battles more managable somehow. ~Pam