Results or Process

My friend Nik posed a question today. Are you results oriented or process oriented? Here's a bit about what she meant:

For some of us this so-called “honeymoon,” carries us through to goal. For others it leaves you very close but not quite. And that’s where that results-driven attitude can get you into trouble. Then one day I came to realize this—I do truly want to be happy. With my life. With my self. With my body. With my purpose on this planet. In order to do that I had to be more process oriented. That is to say, that I had to place my primary focus on how I was accomplishing a healthy life instead of the results of that healthy life.

Her words hit home for me. I've been dealing with this exact transition over the past few months. As you know I've struggled with the scale this year and I have expressed my frustration to you all often. I wanted to share my response to her question...

Just like you, Nik, I had a really tough time transitioning from a results oriented mentality to a process orientation. I went through a pretty bad bout of rebellion when I got so fed up with the scale -- no matter what I do it doesn't move. Exercise more. Exercise less. Change my exercise. Eat more. Eat less. Change what I'm eating. Drink my water. Dont' drink my water. The scale simple does not move any more. It has it's range and it bounces all over the place within that range. 185 to 190... could be any number within that range on any given day. I've been stuck in this range for 8 months now. One year ago last week I hit the 100 lbs lost mark. If I count the scale fluctation, in the past year I've lost a total of between 9 - 14lbs. A whole dang year and only 9 freaking pounds?! It is really hard to stay motivated with those kinds of numbers. (I know, stop saying only.) So I've had to transition from results oriented to process oriented. I've been actively working on it since about May or June. I'm not 100% there yet. The emotional struggle is grueling and some days I don't want to fight any more. But at least I know that's the direction I need to head -- I need to realize that this is life. I'm eating for my healthful lifestyle. I'm exercising for my health and fitness. I'm drinking water and taking vitamins for my health. It's not for weight loss or results on the scale. It's to be healthy.

Will I lose more weight? Yeah... I expect I will eventually. Very slowly. Ounces at a time now instead of pounds. I have another 30-ish pounds to lose before I reach the 160-mark I originally set for myself. If I lost 10 pounds a year, that means I'll be at goal in 3 years. I have, what, another 35-45 years to live.... so 3 years out of those 45 isn't that big of a deal right? But for now? I'm pretty happy with my body, happy with my health, happy that I am athletic and fit and another thing ... I'm just happy to be able to fit in with and look like a normal person (not the fattest girl in the room, just a normal sized person who blends in with everyone else).

This journey is about the rest of my life. It's not about what size jeans I wear today or what the scale will tell me tomorrow. This is my life.