Oh what a difference a week makes! Whew! I won't bore you with the moment by moment details, but I'll give you a quick update.
SLEEP -- When you go 8 or 9 days without quality sleep you come to realize that everything in life hinges on sleep. I was going to work and going to school and doing homework and going through all the motions of life, but I truly wasn't functioning. In the past I thought I understood what "tired" was, but it's never been like this before. BUT I'm sleeping now. Still not 100% like I was before Adipex, but at least I'm getting true rest. Dr. W (my psych) suggested that my electrolytes might be out of whack and said to add a daily banana to my diet - I did and within a day or two I was sleeping much better. No idea if the banana helped or if my body just adjusted to the pill or if it was just the power of suggestion - but I don't care, as long as I'm sleeping.
WEIGHT -- yes, sleep is more important than weight. This morning I weighed 189.6. Which means that I've lost either 3 or 6 pounds depending on which number we use as my starting point. On the day I started Adipex I weighed at 196, but then within a day or two I was at 193, then back to 196 and back down again. That 196 to 193 fluctuation is my normal routine. So which number do we use as the starting point for the Adipex experiment? Who knows. LOL!
NAUSEA and EATING -- I'm thankful this has nearly gone away too. Several hours every morning of nausea sucks pretty bad. Now it's about an hour or so and not nearly as intense. So you know that last week while I was sick every morning I was having trouble eating enough during the day -- but this week I've made a conscious effort to push myself passed the feeling of nausea and eat anyway. I'm sick if I eat or if I don't eat, so what's the point in forcing my body to function on very low calories? 700 calories a day is bad news. I feel better and have more energy now that I'm averaging about 1200-1300. Oddly, it wasn't until I got my calorie count back up that the scale made the sudden move to 189. Mmm...
EMOTIONS -- Still struggling, but I've come to realize it's not going to be easy to accept this new tool. (See, I'm trying to think of it as a tool and not the enemy.) Writing about my emotional crap here the other day helped and also writing in my emotional journal and trying hard to focus on the positive aspects of this process helped too. I feel stronger at least. Sometimes I think it's silly of me to be fighting this process so much on an emotional level. Why can't I just accept it and do what I need to do? Why do my feelings have to fight me? Maybe I'll figure out those answers too... but for now, I'm better but still have some work to do.
Ok, I guess this didn't turn out to be short and sweet afterall. Not sure I'm even capable of short. I've got a rambling illness or something. Ok, I'm stopping now.
~Pam
